Attorney Cracks

Q: How can a pregnant woman know she's carrying a future attorney?

A: She's an extreme craving for baloney.

Q: What's the legal definition of Appeal?

A: Some thing someone falls on in a food store.

Q: Why did God make snakes prior to lawyers?

A: To apply.

Q: What can you call an attorney with an IQ of 1-2?

A: Your Honor.

Q: Whats the difference between an attorney and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What would you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

A: The caterer.

Q: Why are attorneys like nuclear weapons?

A: If one side has one, another side has to get one.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with legal counsel?

A: An offer you can't understand.

Q: What do you call an attorney gone bad?

A: Senator

Q: Did you hear they just produced a brand new Barbie doll named 'Divorced Barbie'?

A: It is sold with half Ken's things and alimony.

Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and an attorney?

A: Jewelry.

Q: What's the meaning of mixed emotions?

A: Watching your lawyer travel over a cliff in your Ferrari.

Q: Whats the distinction between lawyers and accountants?

A: At-least accountants know theyre boring.

Stories:

1. A guy who'd been caught embezzling millions went to a lawyer. His attorney informed him, 'Dont worry. Youll never go to jail with all that money? Actually, when the man was delivered to jail, h-e didnt have a dime.

2. While the lawyer awoke from surgery, h-e asked, 'Why are all of the shades drawn'? The nurse answered, 'There is a fire next door, and we did not want you to think you had died.'

3. This powerful how does nerium work on skin URL has diverse grand tips for when to mull over this concept. God decided to just take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. Get new info on consumers by browsing our compelling paper. Satan heard this, laughed and said, 'And where do you think you are going to find a attorney'?

4. Legal counsel is sitting at the desk in his new office. H-e hears some one visiting the doorway. To impress his first potential client, he sees the phone since the door opens and claims, 'I need one-million and not a dollar less.' As he hangs up, the man now standing in his office says, 'I'm here to hook up your phone.'

And finally:

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